The Utopia of Now

Where am I running? What am I looking for? It seems like a funny idea and yet I, like many others, am running towards a utopia that I will never find. Sometimes I think that human beings are designed this way, programmed in constant search of a light at the end of the tunnel.
What does it take to live peacefully in the moment? How can I be fully satisfied with the status quo? Perhaps I need to live for today – accept life the way it is exactly at this moment and stop trying to change things. The universe is in constant change and yet all I really want to do is hold still – to be still in a moment where there is no fear, no pain, hurt, guilt or shame. Is this peaceful moment now? If it doesn't feel like it can I imagine it and then it will appear? If I imagine it is now – will it stay?
I am always advising others that no matter what our situation, we are always in full control of our own actions. Perhaps this peacefulness I seek is a choice. Maybe I have to choose to let the binding emotions go – to release fear, guilt, shame, anger, resentment and all other harmful emotions and just be still. Just exist in peace with myself regardless of where I am and what my circumstance.
Will this choice to allow peace in the moment have any impact on my destiny? If energy is always flowing then I always have energy inside of me. If my energy goes from negative to positive will my life change? My guess is yes – and I think the reason is simple:
1) LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE: If my energy is positive I have more positive energy coming in to my life. If negative energy surrounds me I will act as a magnet for more negative energy.
So how do I change my energy?
2) FOR EVERY ACTION, THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION: It takes incredible strength but I must exert only positive energy to change my life and re-establish the energy that surrounds me.
But here is the trap:
If I am in an abyss of negative energy I feel that I am stuck. I can't change my circumstance. I feel I am a victim of a curse – bad luck. It is easy for me to feel this way but as long as I do I am stuck.
So the question is – NO the CHALLENGE is how do I stake steps to change the energy that surrounds me from negative to positive?
The only thing that is for sure is that I am in full control of my own actions. Even the choice not to act is an action. Every choice I make is an action which I have full control over. I can change my situation by changing myself.
Until I change myself I will be stuck in my own curse.
This is why God brings people into my life to remind me of the choices that I have.
So the choice is simple: will I seek pay-back or pay it forward? Will I choose to feel anger or see the lesson to be learned? Will I act in a way that is selfish or selfless? Will I be a victim of my circumstances or a warrior fighting to achieve my goals? Will I choose to let small things bother me or will I choose to let them go? Will I throw a pity-party or believe that I am worthy of all the goodness, prosperity and blessings that God has to offer?
When will I make the choice to enjoy the utopia of now?