Monday, October 8, 2007

Flirting

QUESTION: My wife flirts with other men. Is there anything I can do about
it?
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ANSWER: Of course there is, and a lot of your actions may be dictated by
common sense and your concern for her. First, maybe you'd better think about
why she is flirting with other men. Flirting, or any other behavior that
upsets you, may be her way of telling you that something is bothering her.
Some spouses flirt with other people in an effort to gain more attention from
their own spouse. Sometimes the flirting is not done consciously, and
sometimes the flirting is an indication of a need for attention that is so
great that no amount is ever enough.
In a healthy marriage between two mature adults, the problem of a
flirting spouse is usually best confronted with some honest communication.
Have you discussed the problem with your wife? Is she aware that her behavior
is upsetting you? If she is unaware that her flirting is a problem, the first
step is to talk about it. Ask her if she is flirting because something is
troubling her. Be willing to talk about her feelings as well as your own. If
the flirting continues despite such communication, or if you cannot talk about
the problem, seek the assistance of a qualified marriage counselor. If you
don't know of a qualified counselor, ask your family doctor to recommend one

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