Sunday, December 11, 2011

Understand Your Feelings by Dr Rick Schaefer

It can sound strange to hear that how you feel about yourself affects how others feel about you. But is that there is a direct connection between the two and the better you are at loving yourself, the better you will be loved by others.

There is a fun thing that operates in all of our lives, just as the law of gravity does. It is called the law of attraction and it is the same as that old saying we have heard, "like attracts like". When it comes to love, if you love yourself really, really well you will find that you will be really, really well loved by others.

However, the idea of loving oneself can be a foreign concept for many people, and they have no clue of how to go about doing it! Many people are accomplished at criticizing and judging themselves, and not good at all at loving and appreciating themselves. Learning a way to change that, and then practicing it every day until it becomes a habit, will result in the law of attraction working for you and not against you.

The key thing to remember in this practice is to evaluate how any particular thought feels. Usually critical or judgmental thoughts leave a person with a bad feeling. Try thinking something critical about yourself or anyone else and notice how that feels. Another thing that happens is that by thinking one critical thought, it becomes easier to think another one, or two, or more of them. Pretty soon it is almost impossible to find any thought that feels good! Now do the reverse of that by thinking an appreciative thought about anyone and notice how that feels. The same thing happens, in that it becomes easy to find another appreciative thought, and another until it becomes difficult to think a bad feeling thought.

Once you really understand how powerfully your feelings are affected by the nature of your thought, turn your focus on to yourself and look for things to appreciate and love.

This may be somewhat unfamiliar to you, but keep going. All people have qualities that are worth appreciating and your job is to find all of yours. Remember that you DESERVE to find them, and that you may not censor yourself in this process.

Think about your body and how it performs many functions that you do not have to tell it to do. Think about things that you already know that you like about yourself. Maybe it is your ease in making new friends, or maybe it is that you are a bit shy. Maybe it is the sound of your laughter, or the way your hair has that funny cowlick, or that you persist in solving a crossword puzzle until it is all done. Next, look for things to like about yourself that you do not normally notice. There are probably dozens of those! Find a feeling of appreciation for your funny quirks, your odd little habits, your delightful nuances and notice how good it feels to you to feel that appreciation.

This is the practice that if you get really good at, day by day, over time you will discover that you are loving yourself really, really well. You will also discover, coincidentally, that people around you are loving you really, really well too. The law of attraction never stops working!